BlueBarn Theatre debuted ““More of a Heart”” on March 28, 2024. The play was written by Dave Osmundsen. The play explores family dynamics and what it means to truly communicate. Zachary is a college student who is on the spectrum, and his mom, Mary-Ellen is a fierce advocate, considering herself an Autism Mom. Both are frustrated, feeling like the other doesn’t listen, but when Mary-Ellen receives a diagnosis, it becomes more important than ever to learn how to communicate with each other.

Unlike popular depictions of autism such as “A-Typical”, “The Good Doctor”, “The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time” and of course, “Rain Man”, ““More of a Heart”” dives into the experience from the neurodiverse perspective, as opposed to a neurotypical one. Osmundsen is on the spectrum himself. Diagnosed as a child, he takes his lived experience and shapes narratives with complex, diverse characters who are often on the spectrum. “I just wanted to write about an autistic person who's becoming an adult and is learning to tell his own story on his own terms, and in a way that is independent from how his mother has framed his autism,” Osmundsen said.

Osmundsen grew up on the east coast in northern New Jersey, just 45 minutes from the Big Apple. He’s the youngest of three kids. His dad is musical, and early on, Osmundsen played piano and sang in choir. He was diagnosed with autism when he was three, because he had a speech delay and wasn’t hitting all of the mile-stones typical at that age. His mom was given the traditional lecture from a doctor, insisting Osmundsen would never be able to walk or live independently. The “typical catastrophic diagnosis,” Osmundsen said. He attended a school for children on the spectrum, but later was mainstreamed in third grade, where he had an IEP. “My autism had always kind of been framed to me as a burden,” he said.

It's Called The Spectrum For A Reason

More people are becoming aware of autism, but there’s yet to be a shift to acceptance. Confusion around who receives a diagnosis and why is common. Stereotypes and myths still permeate society. It’s not uncommon for children and adults on the spectrum to hear how they don’t look or act like they are autistic.

Matthew Kischer, who plays Zachary in Heart, has experienced this attitude his entire life. “I'm trying to get the diagnosis. But it's very hard, especially when you're an adult,” Kischer said.

As a young child, a school psychologist told him she believed he was on the spectrum and encouraged him to seek a diagnosis. He has spent the rest of his life pushing against stereotypes, trying to receive that diagnosis.

It was believed Kischer had a communication concern, which is a huge component when diagnosing autism. But because he didn’t fit a stereotypical idea of autism, none of the experts believed he could be on the spectrum.

“I actually went and pursued it and they ruled that I wasn't,” Kischer said. “Essentially, they were like, oh, you do too many gestures and you do too many facial expressions, which we are finding is not Right,”

This thinking is common, even among those who believe they know about autism. Many people are misdiagnosed or not diagnosed at all because of this misinformed mindset, which means they go without the correct supports that can help them with their neurodiverse journey.

Osmundsen has also experienced these attitudes. He frequently encounters people confused by his diagnosis. “Well, people tell me that when they meet me, like they don't think autism,” Osmundsen said. “And I used to think that it was such an accomplishment that I pass as allistic, but it really discounted and dismissed so much about how I operate in the world.”

Autism Is A Part Of Life

Autism is a life-long condition. It can’t be cured, and neurodiverse people can’t learn to be neurotypical. This concept is a thread throughout Heart. Zachary is dealing with the trauma of feeling forced to assimilate into a world not designed for him. He’s uncertain of his identity and often feels stifled by society and even his mother, Mary-Ellen. Zachary’s mom and ABA therapists believe he has reached a neurotypical level of living in the world, but as we see in the play, Zachary’s autism is a part of him. Instead of allowing him to express himself in an organic way, natural to him, he’s forced to adopt behaviors that make it more convenient for neurotypical people to live around him.

“So, the show is kind of about him, like coming to terms with identity,” Kischer said.  “Like this idea of him not sure what his identity is, especially being told all his life what to do.”

Nowadays, people are diagnosed with Autism 1, 2 or 3. According to the Autistica website, having strong supports regardless of diagnosis can impact outcomes for people. The website states, “With the right support and a suitable environment, many autistic people are able and independent.”

Osmundsen wants to make it clear that a part of being independent is finding community and learning how to advocate for yourself. “I think a big part of being independent, paradoxically, is asking for help with things,” Osmundsen said. “Teach them how to advocate for themselves and that it's okay if they need extra support. That it's okay to ask for help, and to normalize asking for help.”

Awareness vs. Acceptance

“More of a Heart” has two autistic characters, Zachary and Ben. Each are unique and exhibit their autism in different ways. But both are loyal, vibrant, compassionate and three-dimensional. Ben Pearson plays Ben. The character Ben is a supporting role, but we are given two distinct autistic journeys that demonstrate why autism is a spectrum and not at all binary. We also learn the importance of robust supports that meet individual needs and work with an individual, instead of attempting to assimilate them.

“He's considered neurotypical by a lot of his peers. And the show doesn't focus on him as much,” Pearson said. “But we do get to see a lot of the struggles that he's gone through. And we see kind of gradually, I think, how he's been perceived by the world.”

For years, the autism community has been pushing for acceptance over awareness. It’s not enough to know neurodiverse people exist, but society needs to embrace and include the neurodiverse community. According to the Autism Self Advocacy Network (ASAN) website, “Awareness efforts present us as a problem to be solved.”  ASAN finds awareness to be superficial and fleeting, whereas acceptance takes actual work. Acceptance asks people to sit in discomfort and deconstruct what they think they know about autism.

The ASAN site states, “Acceptance comes from a place of understanding; understanding isn’t generated by soundbites and posterchildren,” Kassiane S. wrote. To accept autism, people need to be viewed as individuals who are capable of emotions and intelligence and growth. “We are not all the same, and we are not but a collection of deficits,” Kassiane S. wrote.

ASAN and other advocates demand people examine their preconceived ideas about autism and consider the discomfort they might feel when confronted with differing ideas about autism. Listening to those with a lived experience is crucial. “Acceptance requires facing that which makes you uncomfortable with us; thinking why it makes you uncomfortable; and confronting any prejudice at the root of that discomfort,” Kassiane S. continued.

“More of a Heart” does just this, holding up a mirror to our assumed knowledge of what it means to be autistic. “I know they say that autism is a spectrum. I like to refer to it as a constellation,” Osmundsen said. “Because constellations have numerous manifestations and stories.”

At its core, Heart asks the audience to see the humanity in everyone and embrace people for who they are. It seeks to strip away outside noise and reveal the different ways in which humans find connection. It demonstrates that autism is not a monolith. And it shows the trauma disabled people experience from living in a world not designed for them.

Representation

Osmundsen has always been drawn to theatre and writing. Initially, he didn’t necessarily see himself writing about autism. At nine, he saw a production of Phantom of the Opera and he was hooked. Eventually, his passions led him down a variety of creative paths. He enjoyed writing but didn’t start writing plays until he was in college. Still, he wasn’t focusing on autistic stories. It wasn’t until he attended grad school at Arizona State that he started drawing upon his experience of being on the spectrum. He struggled to see himself in autistic stories, so he wrote Light Switch, a play about a Queer autistic man whose passion was 19th century British literature. Something Osmundsen definitely identified with at the time.

“I partially wrote it because I just didn't see much Queer autistic representation,” Osmundsen said. “It had always been The Good Doctor or Rain Man or Curious Incident was also really popular, which, regardless of what I think of them, I never quite saw myself in. So, I wrote Light Switch to kind of talk about that, how autism intersects with queerness.”

Accurate, realistic portrayals are crucial when telling stories about any marginalized community. A popular hashtag in the disabled community is #NothingAboutUsWithoutUs. Which means, disabled people need a seat at the table and need to be decision-makers when stories about the disabled experience are told.

“I’m not here for anyone’s comfort,” Osmundsen said. “I do feel like the more effective mode that I can serve as a conduit between the autism community and the theater community is to uplift other autistic and neurodiverse writers.”

“More of a Heart” digs into the relationship between an autistic teen who is embarking on an adult journey and his mother who has been a fierce advocate for him as a child. Osmundsen said he hears about autism from lots of parents, but he was interested in the actual autistic voice. “I really wanted to explore the way that so many parent narratives I listen to and I'm like, well, what does the autistic child think about?” he said.

He was interested in viewing this story through an autistic lens. And since Osmundsen is on the spectrum, he can create nuance and individuality and depth, where a non-autistic person may not be able to do this, because they have no lived experience to draw upon. Central to his work is focusing on what it means to live in a world not designed for you or your access needs.

Casting is equally important when performing stories about people on the spectrum. A debate has taken place in the last few years over whether non-disabled actors should play disabled characters. On one hand, the job of an actor is to take on the identity of someone different from them. However, when disability is still misunderstood and feared, it can be challenging for non-disabled performers to capture the full breadth of a disabled identity. “There are so many details to being a neurodivergent person, that’s really hard for a non-neurodivergent person to actually fully portray it in a fully believable way,” Kischer said.

Kisher and Pearson do not play themselves in Heart, but they have the lived experience to slip into Ben and Zachary. There is a tune each is able to strike, depicting Zachary and Ben as individual, fully fleshed out characters. While watching Heart, it never drifts into stereotypes, a portrayal in two-dimension, based solely from an outsiders observations. Ben and Zachary are whole characters with distinct voices. And this is the reality for actual autistic people. The autistic community isn’t a puzzle to be put together, they are not people in need of fixing.

“I hope this opens the door to more neurodivergent stories. I really want to hear the voices of artists who identify that way,” Pearson said. “Throughout history, they have been closed-off from the conversation. The more we understand people, the more we understand of the world.”

Empowerment

And this is what Osmundsen and the cast and crew of “More of a Heart” hope audiences take away with them. Osmundsen, Pearson and Kischer all expressed a desire for the autism community to be truly seen. Osmundsen thinks his work challenges regardless the topic, but he and the actors talk about how they were equally challenged. The goal of art is to make people talk, to confront subjects and prejudices. Heart is ultimately a story about love and connection and identity, and yet, it uplifts the autistic community through three-dimensional portrayals based on lived experiences.

“I really want them to think about care and how care can manifest both benevolently and maliciously, whether we mean to or not,” Osmundsen said. “And I hope that it gives autistic people, the agency and empowerment to share their stories and perspective that encourages allistic folks to just listen.”